Funny Life

Last Ditch Attempts

Today, as a last ditch attempt to get as smart as possible in a short amount of time, I decided to stare at the vitamin aisle wishing there was a pill to drastically improve brain function.
Tomorrow is the day I begin medical school classes.


Just Sayin'

All I know is…
this kinda mess doesn’t happen at Target. #target4lyfe #walmartsucks


An Ingenius Idea That I'm Sharing with Ya'll

Issue 1
When I’m driving my feet get cold. They are so far from my frozen little heart. I usually sit criss cross applesauce to keep my toesies warm under my legs, but that’s not very safe when I’m at the wheel.
Issue 2
When I’m driving, I like to keep cool air blowing on my face. It keeps me focused, and well, cool. Especially when the sun is out, it’s easy to just bake in the heat.

They have cars that a temperature adjustable and cars that blow different temperatures to the backseat or on the passenger.  And I know they have lower vents and upper vents.
So…Why don’t they make a car that blows different temperatures to the feet and the face simultaneously?!
I have been known to blast hot air on my feet for 30 seconds and then switch it back up and to cool, and seriously it is such an inconvenience.
I mean, they may have a very narrow target market of cold-footed sissy girls but I think its worthwhile. We will see who comes out with it. Remember that you saw it here first.
P.S. Many of you don’t know this but my sisters and I used to be serious rollerbladers in like 1996, and we were the first to think of placing wheels in the bottoms of tennis shoes. And then wheelies came out.
True story. Ask anyone.

Funny Life Running

Whole Milk Two Mile

Oklahoma Baptist University is such a wonderfully weird place. I never felt much school pride in high school, but attending my last OBU events is definitely making me sad. Ka-Rip
There is a tradition at OBU that I have never participated in but I go watch every year. The Whole Milk Two Mile. 
Drink a cup of vitamin D whole milk, run a lap around the Oval. Repeat for 8 laps (2 miles).
Its a glorious thing to watch. Glorious and stupid and dumbfounding and gross and sad. But glorious.
Everyone is fine the first few laps. But around lap four it all goes to crap. People start gagging and spitting long, thick strands of milk mucous.
Laps 5-6 people have large fountains of vomit spewing forth. The weirdest part is, when someone vomits everyone claps and cheers.
The most disgusting thing I have ever seen happened though. Some people dress up in costume to run it. This one guy was wearing swim trunks, a snorkel, and a swim mask. I saw him come through a couple times and you can see the struggle hit each runner at around lap 3. So this guy slows down but never stops running. Right as he passed us, he vomited WITH HIS SNORKEL IN HIS MOUTH. You didn’t read that wrong. Vomit went up through the tube and rained down on his head and all over the street. I gagged. Everyone gasped, then cheered.
I took a little video. There’s milk puke on the ground and people actually throwing up so if you don’t want to see those things I recommend not watching it. Sorry about the blurriness at the beginning.
Whole Milk Two Mile
Anyway, I had a lot of fun. It was one for the books, that’s for sure. God bless OBU.

Funny Quotes Video

TV Dads

TV dads are made out to be idiots.
“Though we love our men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.”
That’s the best part of the whole song.
I can say this because my dad raised me as a girl to be smart and independent with absolutely not even a seed of doubt that I was just as capable to do whatever I wanted as any man was.
I feel like most sexism today is just said as a joke because its mostly accepted in my generation that marriages and parenting will be a 50/50 partnership.
So you have to take my jokes along with this post because I think sexist jokes are funny.
Think Phil Dunphy from Modern Family
Think about the dad on pretty much every Disney Channel Show ever.
Do you think feminism has harmed the way we view men, or are they really stupid and its an accurate portrayal? 🙂 I think its making women have to step up and take control.

Watch from about 2:30 on in this video
Maybe its based on this whole quote where we are expecting men to be good at things that don’t come naturally to them.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”- Albert Einstein

Maybe that’s just something we can tell men to make them feel better about being so dumb. 😉
It’s just something to think about. Yet another way our media affects our lives in bigger ways than we probably want them to…

Funny Products

Feminism Successes

Feminism Successes
The female species has been liberated of the oppression of sitting down to pee. As someone who has peed in a gas station cup in the back of a car, I need to have this. Graduation gift, BAM. You’re Welcome.