I’ve been on a social media hiatus, but I never said I would quit the blog until boards. It’s been a gradual weaning process to break the habit of checking my instagram, twitter, and facebook every 5 seconds. I hated that I was so dependent on them. I was on my phone way too much, now I lose my phone a lot more without it by my side every minute. I also have a lot more time to study or better yet- relax- now that I’ve logged out of all of them and deleted the apps. Facebook has been the most difficult to kick though, mostly because a good part of my class uses it to communicate with each other. As a result, I’ve been checking it for school updates occasionally. It has been an overwhelmingly good thing for me, and not just for boards studying. I’ve also realized I don’t miss it. My boyfriend always said I scowl my face every time I scroll through my phone for the past couple months. I did it without thinking about it. Its stupid how much time I wasted on things that don’t matter. The people I really need to know about are people I talk I actually talk to on the phone, text, or in person. Best case scenario on social media is me paying very little attention to what I’m looking at or reading, absent-mindedly scrolling through weird, personal details of peoples lives. Its very strange, our interactions online. Worst case scenario I get told to buy something, or I get jealous, down on myself, panicked, sometimes angry even. On Instagram, I can spend hours looking at pretty pictures of people I don’t know, which is another weird thing we do online. People brag online without thinking about their audience of mostly people in similar walks of life struggling to lose weight or make good grades or get their baby to sleep through the night. Even the simplest #humblebrag can make someone else feel like they are failing, and that’s something nobody really thinks about enough. Women are the worst at it, and I’m guilty of it too. My twitter has a lot of anonymous medical students at great schools with blogs and twitter feeds that often make me feel panic-y about studying or feel like a slacker. I pray that this blog never makes any of my peers feel behind or down on themselves. Trust me, I’m more behind than you! Keep doing your best, medical students; I know how hard it is!
Bottom line- social media has a purpose. I’m thankful for the funny articles and pictures of my friends that I don’t see often. I’m glad it makes people realize how blessed they are and gives a platform where people often publicly compliment their friends and be more grateful for their families. I even like when people post about their successes- most of the time. People butt heads and you’re never going to make everyone happy or avoid offending everyone who reads what you post. For me, it became overwhelmingly negative at a time in my life where I am already at the breaking point. I’m stressed and very often, things on social media affected my mood in a very negative way. Not to mention the time suck it was for me when there already aren’t enough hours in the day. Even after boards, I hope to maintain this habit of rarely checking my accounts. I want to choose to focus on real conversations in real life with my loved ones, and save the successes and failures and announcements and life events for the people who are actually there to celebrate or offer a helping hand right there with me.
Category: Blogging
I have started my second year of medical school. I’m actually two and a half weeks in.
I’m still in the classroom, but since only years 1 and 2 are done on campus, it gives all of us MS-2’s this false sense of being “top dogs”. We’ve been showing the first years around all summer, and now we can pop backs so we think we are some hot stuff. Then the dream stops and we wake up to the nightmare reality every morning that we still actually only know very little and boards loom on the horizon like that scene in Apollo 13 where the astronauts are all walking toward the space ship dramatically. Will we all just burst into flames and never make it there?! Will we get halfway to the moon and then freeze to death?! Will we make it home to our lives and loved ones triumphantly?!
NOBODY KNOWS!
Sometimes I don’t feel like walking forward towards that spaceship. It seems like too great of a risk. Studying for the MCAT depleted my gumption reserves. It gave me mono and walking pneumonia and insomnia and anxiety and the sweats and nightmares. I always felt like crap, just completely run down for that 6 weeks or so I studied; only surviving by way of coffee and sonic drinks. Now that such conditions are normal for me as a medical student, I wonder how preparing for my tortuous first round of boards will plague me.
Okay, think happy thoughts! That test is not til next June and I am loving school for the most part. The transition back into a routine is always a little rough after a break though. Especially with the added change of living situations.
I moved out from living with my parents back in July. I live much closer to school now, with two classmates. My house turned out just the way I wanted it! (Easy to say when your dad is the contractor.) It’s cute and cozy and it felt like home right away. Though it was still hard to move out permanently- even at 23.
I think I got burned out being at the school all the time last year, so I study at my new house a lot more so far this semester. Since all of my roommates are medical students, (which I highly recommend doing!) noise is never a problem, and I get a lot done at home. Sometimes I think I live by myself, it’s so quiet!
It’s strange how my study habits change so quickly and seamlessly when I’ve been doing this school thing for so many years.
I want to do a study doing a functional MRI on medical students’ brains before first year and then after they graduate. Just to see what the heck goes on up there. I think it probably actually gains mass from sheer info and also probably starts to just fritz out on occasion during important situations especially. It would also be great to do a study on how many words we read a day or some other way to quantify the vast amounts of information that pass through in ear and out the other.
I’m also open to writing a book or piloting a TV show about the medical school experience if anyone with money or power is reading this. Its the most exciting thing I’ve ever been through, which is sort of sad because the majority of what I do is sit there. However, when asked, I bet money that YOU, Regular Joe, would like to see the process of taking a mostly kind and hardworking (but still dumb) person and turning them into a wonderful, knowledgable doctor- I think Regular Joe would want to see that. It’s got everything:
Romance-there IS dating in med school
Roller coaster of emotions- test grades, fake patients, and prostate exams, oh my!
Drama/Tension- “They said we would have 2 full hours, not 1 hour 50 minutes for this test!”
Fun/Action- med students have been known to throw a nice formal ball AND get down in sand volleyball. That’s riveting stuff!
If fishing for crabs in Alaska gets a show, medical school should have a show.
That’s all for now!
Eat, class, study, run, sleep, repeat!
The blogging was slow throughout my neuroanatomy block. It was easily the roughest time since first semester when my class took our foundational science courses along with anatomy. Now the year is winding down. We are in our psychiatry block, or as we like to call it- “Psych-cation”. This is my last full week as a first year medical student. I had high expectations for this year. Nothing went as expected, but that’s not to say it wasn’t one of the greatest things I have ever been a part of. It continues to be my desire to wake up and learn and do medicine. I also continue to struggle each and every day to work my hardest, dig deep, and put my best forward. Some days are easier than others. I struggle to this day with the discipline to study for a full evening with no distractions. Time management- and the guilt that goes along with making tough choices- will always be tough for me. Whenever I choose to run and meal prep, I feel guilty for not studying. If given the the chance to watch my niece for an evening or be with my family, it is always my first inclination to pick them, and then spend my time with them rushing through it or worse, resenting them for pulling me away from studying. Yet, the same is true on the rare occasion I decide to continue studying- I start to get down on myself for being the studious, uncaring robot I never wanted to be and cursing my choice of medicine for making me betray my family. It’s so easy to fall to extremes whenever I am presented with two choices in the same window of time. I have a horrible fear of missing out (#FOMO) on fun with family and friends, but on the same token, I have awful anxiety when it comes to tests that I haven’t studied enough for. Life with me is always a certain roller coaster of emotions. It will soon be my last somewhat wide open summer. There are high expectations for that as well.
From my time with the doctors I love shadowing, and in spending time with our attendings that teach and grade us in clinical skills and OMM, I have learned how vitally important their experiences are to me. They give us tips on how to cause less pain, on how to find the diseases that “hide”, how to care for the difficult, stubborn, and “unwanted” patients. I love them for passing on their directly usable knowledge. I always remember what they say best when so much of medical school is only “practical” in the sense of boards. In watching and learning from them, I have decided that it wouldn’t be right for a doctor to learn all this and go about their practice without ever mentoring or teaching the upcoming doctors in some capacity. I may not have realized it, but this sort of outlet is one of the reasons blogging is great. So here it is; if I ever didn’t make it clear, or you thought I was to busy- here I am saying I am available to give you whatever I can offer you in your journey into medicine. If you are premed or thinking about premed or know someone that is- send them my way! I want to help anyway I can. Resumes, applications, stats, extracurriculars, what school to pick, what classes to take- I’ve been there and it helps to talk out your goals and reaffirm your passions with someone who knows the long road it will be. You can contact me on here. I read every email I get through my “contact” form. If you’re in Oklahoma, I can get students to come speak to your premed club. If you know me personally then you can contact me on Facebook and get coffee. Whatever you need, I’m available to mentor you and set you up with great doctors in the area that mentor too. Especially now that summer is within sight!
There are so many issues I want to talk about. Things I’m passionate about. In medicine and in life. Vaccines, mental illness and mood disorders, nutrition and exercise, pregnancy and childbirth, medical school admissions, preventative medicine, geriatrics, malpractice, thoughts on caring physicians, managing chronic illness, and of course this era of mistrusting our physicians and reliance on the internet. Big things are coming and happening and the future of medicine. I simply do not have the time to research and delve into these big issues and write the well-written pieces I know I can write while being true to my studies. The hard truth is, being the best physician I can in the future be means I need to give my all to the cardiovascular system right now. It means I can’t dive into those side issues I care so much about just yet because I need to know paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea, bread and butter pericarditis, and Kerley B lines. I haven’t even had the spare thought-processing energy to figure out exactly where I stand on so many of these things. I sift through these thoughts in spare moments- spending time on my runs and in the shower deep in thought. When I’m done, I have a lot of little half-ideas and nothing really hashed out. Still, I write all my ideas in a note on my iPhone and save them for later. “Summer,” I promise myself. I’ll get down and dirty with these ideas this summer. It’s coming.
Also in the summer, a myriad of opportunities have come about since being in medical school- and I’ve been really blessed for that. I wasn’t really expecting it, since its so tough to find those good opportunities as an undergrad. Externships, research jobs, medical missions, vacations. I’m still sorting through it all right now, but I will be on at least one medical mission trip, being doing a summer rural health externship, possibly part time research. I’ll get some good shadowing time in too. Another big part is that I’m moving! Out of my parents house, and into one of my dad’s rent houses! I’m sort of sad, sort of excited. I’ll probably have roommates that are classmates and live WAYY closer to school so its mostly a good change. Anyway, I’ll keep you posted and thanks, as always, for reading!
Categories
Bear with Me
Hey guys. Some of you may have noticed that doonthego.me is up and running. Followers have been migrated over there but the site is not totally done, so if something is wonky or unfinished, bear with me. I’m new at this.
I’m getting out my trusty calculator for figuring out how much fresh juice cost versus juice companies and places you can buy fresh squeezed juice.
I spent $52.79 on fruit for 3 days
$17.60 a day seems a little steep, but
this gave me 6 juices a day.
That’s $2.93 per juice which was anywhere from 400ml to 1L.
Compared to blueprint cleanse at $195 for three days ($10.83/ juice) that’s 73% off!
(I modeled some of my juice recipes after some of theirs but you will never see me juice celery or ginger).
I’m pretty proud of my juices if you couldn’t tell.
Also, I got fresh juice from a juice/smoothie place in Chicago and they were charging $9.95 for 16 oz. of juice and it didn’t taste any better than any of mine. So if you want to invest in a juicer or already have one sitting on your shelf, I say do it yourself because its way worth it.
It took an hour of prep of like 45836543 lbs. of produce and I had it all in baggies- washed dried and packed with its future juice buddies. For example, after I made my favorite juices, I still had green apples and spinach and a mango with no where to use them. So, I put them all in a baggy together and juiced it this morning and it was THE BEST.
Pssttt- Changes are coming to my little blog soon! I never expected it to grow like it is; so when my brother-in-law offered to webhost my blog and make me a new logo and design, I jumped at the chance. You can see his website here and here’s a sneak peek of things to come!
This weekend was busy busy! I got a lot done. I painted my bookshelves for my study room and did a couple more DIY projects and finished up some loose ends. I’m still working on recapping my trip.
I had some shopping to do today and it was as I was buying a large container of body wash that I realized…I will be using this body wash WHEN I’M IN MEDICAL SCHOOL. This will be the body wash I will use when I start medical school. 37 days until orientation begins. That is crazy stuff right there.
I’m getting all my ducks in a row. I’ve been budgeting, I bought a backpack, throwing bunches of stuff away, etc. One thing I’ve been focusing on that I don’t usually do is taking extra care of myself. I usually don’t have a high maintenance beauty routine in the morning- I usually forego full-on make up and just use mascara. And other than being a night shower-er, I don’t have much of a night routine either.
When I was little, I used to watch my mom get ready for bed. Sometimes I got bored so I climbed the bathroom door frame. I also specifically remember sitting on her bathroom counter, taking “shots” of water straight out of the second vanity faucet in a paper dixie cup with a Lion King print. Then, I’d jump off the counter and jump up and down and listen to the water slosh in my belly. My mom would take off her makeup, wash her face, remove the residual makeup again, apply six different night creams and then coat her whole face in vaseline. (Maybe that’s where I got my love of the stuff.) Anyway, the whole thing was a process.
All that to say, I’ve been taking my time getting ready in the morning, filing my nails at night, putting lotion on my elbows. My new thing is brushing my teeth when I’m in the shower. Is that weird? I guess the thought is that I won’t have as much time to take this much care in my upkeep once school starts.
Do you have any nighttime habits that you can’t skip?
Categories
Medical school budgeting
Med school is such a unique little niche of life that I don’t often find the answers I’m looking for when I google a specific question to see how other people do it. Med students aren’t necessarily known for writing, sharing tipsy and being involved in social media publicly but I think we should be. I soaked up every bit of info I could find about applying, schools, pre reqs, etc because it’s always helpful to know other people are going through the same things. Still, I usually can’t find anything on what I need aside from some occasional articles on the AAMC, which are so broad and vague that it’s not always helpful.
Anyway, now that I’m in, I guess I’m seeking advice and guidance on how to budget for this endeavor. In addition, I guess I’m offering my personal budget outline (which I’m sure will evolve) in case anyone else is wondering how other people are managing the loans.
Why I personally need a budget:
1) I’m a planner
2) I love organization
3) I love lists 🙂
4) I will receive a lump sum at the beginning of the semester which means it needs to last ALL semester.
5) Number 4 above scares me. If I overshoot or undershoot how much I need it’s bad.
6) Oh my gosh what will I do over the summers?!
Expenses I am responsible for:
1) My car payment ~$300/month
2) My car insurance ~$800/6 months
3) Tuition ~$21,000/year
4) Books, supplies, education costs ~$8000/year
5) Food (living with my parents, I will probably only be responsible for lunch most days and if I go out on weekends) ~$200/month
6) Gas ~ still figuring this one out with my new car and all
7) Fun/shopping ~???/month
As of right now I don’t have my scholarship award letter officially so that may take a couple thousand off of tuition (fingers crossed).
Number 7 was what I was mostly looking for help on. How in the heck do I estimate that? Is “fun” going to Starbucks once a month? Is “fun” a trip to Hawaii? Is “fun” retail therapy after I bomb a test? How do I know what I will have time for/what’s feasible/reasonable/dumb/crazy/necessary. How do you budget for being flexible and spontaneous and staying sane if needed but also not being ridiculous and frivolous?
Advice? What not to do? Did I leave anything out?
Even if you aren’t a med student reading this, how would you gauge how much to take out for my other, less necessary costs?
I’ve only had enough time to pull drafts out this weekend and haven’t been able to write this new post of something cool that happened Friday, Apr 18.
I received a blogging award nomination for the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award from a blogger that is a fourth year med student about to enter residency. You can see her post of her favorite blogs and the award details here.
Its been cool to see my brand spankin’ new blog slowly grow each day, to watch medical student blogs find me just as fast as I find them, and to keep following my favorite home improvement, recipe blogs, and running blogs for ideas and to see how they do things.
At first it was just my Facebook friends and family but now I see at least one new blogger following my blog everyday just from WordPress or wherever. And, since I can see where people find my blog from, like Facebook, Twitter, or from another blog such as the references from The Honest Doctor.
Anyway, just wanted to share with you how great everyone is in the blogging world and how neat it is to see other people interested in the things I have to say. And, to have my followers follow the other great blogs out there.
Also, Happy Easter!
