I’m Back– Close Calls, Boards, and the Start of Third Year

My life looks very different now than what it did 5 weeks ago. And, 5 weeks before that, I was in another galaxy. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but these last couple months have been more of a startling transition than going from college and a summer off to matriculating the first year of medical school. I will say though, this transition has brought much more enjoyable changes. So let’s start back at the end of April/beginning of May during board exam preparations when I deleted every social media app and other time-sucking things from my life and moved in with my best med school friends; it simultaneously became a huge load off my back having awesome roommates and being in a more nurturing place at home, but then it got a whole lot more stressful because Macy and I needed to buckle down and study. Hard. This was 6 weeks before my big test, and classes were already over to give us time to study for boards on our own. (Before I go on, for all you non-medical people- passing this test is crucial to moving onto your “clinical” years of medical school and an absolute necessity for getting the big D.O. after my name. Residency programs look at this test score and assess your worthiness, and if getting into medical school isn’t hard enough, I daresay this was about 437 times harder than anything I had to do to get in.) Anyway, I took a practice test that the school required we take to make sure we were ready to take the exam and pass it. I was...

2nd Year Rut

I wanted this blog to be real. Honest. No sugar coating it. Med school sucks sometimes. There I said it. Its three days into a new semester and I’ve already hit a wall so hard that I can’t even sleep. Usually when I don’t want to study, I can sleep, or at least binge watch something while simultaneously “candy crushing” until sleep finds me. Here I am, though- its 2 AM and I’m Facebook stalking pictures of myself while I was in college, feeling sorry for myself. Something is off. And it has been for a while. I feel happy each day. I wake up, I eat, I laugh, I study, I see my friends, I sleep. Even my family is always close by when I need them. But, after looking at my own pictures on my feed, I see I’m not even the girl I was a year ago. That girl was “pinch me” happy to be in medical school. That girl lived to go into school each day and learn. That girl was running everyday. She loved going out, even on weeknights- regardless of the sleep she’d lose- just to be with her new friends, gain the life experiences. I loved my first year of medical school. It changed my life in all aspects for the better. Shortly after first year started, an older gentleman in a restaurant overheard me using “first year” and “second year” terminology and leaned over and said “You must be in law school, using those words.” I smiled and proudly said, “No sir, I’m in medical school.” “My mistake,” he smiled, “Congratulations then.” My “thank you”...

Orientation Day 1 and White Coat Ceremony

What a fun couple days it has been. It feels like its been a week since I’ve posted! So orientation on the first day included a big volunteer event they do every year mostly run by students. They split us up into groups and we went around Tulsa to various organizations and helped them out with whatever they needed. I met a lot of great people and laughed a ton! The school fed us breakfast and lunch and gave us a volunteer t-shirt! Woo! I love new t-shirts. The second year’s put on a mock lecture to show us what NOT to do. They crumpled chip bags, asked “Will this be on the exam?” repeatedly to the professor, had their cell phones playing youtube videos during class, one guy even brought a freakin’ blender and turned it on in the lecture hall. It was pretty dang funny. It felt like a very OBU thing to do, so I was glad to see them having fun and being ridiculous about it. Overall, the experience felt a little like camp, but I was glad for the relaxing environment to get to know people in and truly enjoyed getting to know my classmates. I picked up my white coat and scrubs they give us for free, and then went home where (some) of my nieces were waiting for me. My family and I went out to dinner and then shopping that evening so it was a great day in my books!   The white coat ceremony was a blast. And if I hadn’t been so crazy giddy about the whole experience actually...

Lake Trip, Medical School Updates, and Study Room

Well folks, as much as I love writing, when life comes a-knockin’ unfortunately the blog takes the beating. This week I went for a last minute lake cabin retreat with two girlfriends from OBU. We had a wonderful time! We used floaties to lay out and tan on a very calm, clear lake. We partook in hot tub time, ate, played board games, attempted to fish, laughed, laid in a hammock, and even kayaked. It was a little vacation I didn’t even know I needed. It came at the perfect time too. Right before I left, I realized I had a little email conundrum with medical school where I realized I wasn’t getting all the emails I should have. (I should have known, no wonder I hadn’t heard about orientation and the white coat ceremony yet!) Once I straightened out the correct email with the administration, I was forwarded a flood of information including my test/class schedule, orientation schedule, info on becoming a student ambassador, and most importantly a self-study block of a class that has already begun! Whoa. Who knew medical school started the summer before?! Since I was on vacation though, I anxiously tucked them away for reading and absorbing as soon as I got back on Thursday. I would love to share the scheduling and everything I will be up to this fall since that is a lot of what I have been curious about for so long. Questions like, “How grueling is it really?” “What is the day to day schedule like?” Unfortunately, I don’t think sharing these google docs on the interwebs for all...

Worry

I worry about big things, like about the future. I worry about small things, like about not finishing all the summer reading I wanted. I worried when I was 9 and had no legitimate concerns. I worry now when every decision feels so pertinent. I worry about serious things like the environment. I worry about stupid things like having white teeth. I worry about my family. I worry for their health and happiness. I worry about about their worries. I worry about their sadness. I worry about their foot fungus. I worry about their flaky patches of skin. I worry about their backs, their diets, their sore throats. I worry about my sisters. I worry about depression returning, looming in the sky like a big thunderhead that just passed over us. I worry about my nieces. I worry for them because its so hard to be a girl. I worry because its so hard to grow up and grow up right. I worry because things go wrong. I worry for them because there are hurts I can’t hide from them. I worry that they will see my worry because I want them to know how blessed they are and I’m worried my worry will make them think otherwise. I worry about them when I start medical school. I worry that they’ll think I won’t have time for them. I worry about my friends. I worry that I’ll disappoint them. I worry that they won’t get everything they want for their lives. I worry about the hurt they will have to endure if they don’t. I worry about love. I...