Worry

I worry about big things, like about the future. I worry about small things, like about not finishing all the summer reading I wanted. I worried when I was 9 and had no legitimate concerns. I worry now when every decision feels so pertinent. I worry about serious things like the environment. I worry about stupid things like having white teeth. I worry about my family. I worry for their health and happiness. I worry about about their worries. I worry about their sadness. I worry about their foot fungus. I worry about their flaky patches of skin. I worry about their backs, their diets, their sore throats. I worry about my sisters. I worry about depression returning, looming in the sky like a big thunderhead that just passed over us. I worry about my nieces. I worry for them because its so hard to be a girl. I worry because its so hard to grow up and grow up right. I worry because things go wrong. I worry for them because there are hurts I can’t hide from them. I worry that they will see my worry because I want them to know how blessed they are and I’m worried my worry will make them think otherwise. I worry about them when I start medical school. I worry that they’ll think I won’t have time for them. I worry about my friends. I worry that I’ll disappoint them. I worry that they won’t get everything they want for their lives. I worry about the hurt they will have to endure if they don’t. I worry about love. I...

Things to Look Forward to

Today marks one month until I start medical school orientation. Just 31 days until I reach the beginning of this crazy goal I’ve had for what seems like forever. One lunar cycle until I begin what I’ve been told is both a great time with what will become lifetime friends and a time of overwhelming stress and suffering. Without further ado, here’s what I’m looking forward to in the coming months. 1. The rest of my summer. Honestly, I’m looking forward to living out the rest of the summer. I’m going on a float trip with my girls, meeting up with some future classmates again, going to a lake house with some girl friends, reading, resting. All that good stuff. Here’s to the last of my freedom until Christmas! 2. Orientation. It might be boring and drag on entirely too long for some people (its 6 days long), but I think its a good way to dip my toes in the water. It’ll be a lower stress way to get to know everyone before the bomb drops. I also like the last chance to get organized, “orient” myself (see what I did there?), and mentally prepare. 3. Meeting everyone! I’m not a ‘big group’ of people kind of person (it gets exhausting after a while) but it’ll be exciting to get to know people and make some new friends and have some new close bonds with people who love medicine. Which takes me to my next item… 4. The medicine! I love learning science, especially of the biological/human variety. I’m excited to learn so much and meet the cadavers...