I’ve been on a social media hiatus, but I never said I would quit the blog until boards. It’s been a gradual weaning process to break the habit of checking my instagram, twitter, and facebook every 5 seconds. I hated that I was so dependent on them. I was on my phone way too much, now I lose my phone a lot more without it by my side every minute. I also have a lot more time to study or better yet- relax- now that I’ve logged out of all of them and deleted the apps. Facebook has been the most difficult to kick though, mostly because a good part of my class uses it to communicate with each other. As a result, I’ve been checking it for school updates occasionally. It has been an overwhelmingly good thing for me, and not just for boards studying. I’ve also realized I don’t miss it. My boyfriend always said I scowl my face every time I scroll through my phone for the past couple months. I did it without thinking about it. Its stupid how much time I wasted on things that don’t matter. The people I really need to know about are people I talk I actually talk to on the phone, text, or in person. Best case scenario on social media is me paying very little attention to what I’m looking at or reading, absent-mindedly scrolling through weird, personal details of peoples lives. Its very strange, our interactions online. Worst case scenario I get told to buy something, or I get jealous, down on myself, panicked, sometimes angry even. On Instagram, I can spend hours looking at pretty pictures of people I don’t know, which is another weird thing we do online. People brag online without thinking about their audience of mostly people in similar walks of life struggling to lose weight or make good grades or get their baby to sleep through the night. Even the simplest #humblebrag can make someone else feel like they are failing, and that’s something nobody really thinks about enough. Women are the worst at it, and I’m guilty of it too. My twitter has a lot of anonymous medical students at great schools with blogs and twitter feeds that often make me feel panic-y about studying or feel like a slacker. I pray that this blog never makes any of my peers feel behind or down on themselves. Trust me, I’m more behind than you! Keep doing your best, medical students; I know how hard it is!
Bottom line- social media has a purpose. I’m thankful for the funny articles and pictures of my friends that I don’t see often. I’m glad it makes people realize how blessed they are and gives a platform where people often publicly compliment their friends and be more grateful for their families. I even like when people post about their successes- most of the time. People butt heads and you’re never going to make everyone happy or avoid offending everyone who reads what you post. For me, it became overwhelmingly negative at a time in my life where I am already at the breaking point. I’m stressed and very often, things on social media affected my mood in a very negative way. Not to mention the time suck it was for me when there already aren’t enough hours in the day. Even after boards, I hope to maintain this habit of rarely checking my accounts. I want to choose to focus on real conversations in real life with my loved ones, and save the successes and failures and announcements and life events for the people who are actually there to celebrate or offer a helping hand right there with me.